Being Broken-Hearted

Being heartbroken. Sounds familiar, right?

A life situation : She loves him, with every essence of her being. She believes he loves her the same.

“I’d never leave you.” He promised her. “I’d rather die.” He said.

He left – but did not die. 

Since then, she died a different death. 

A different life situation:

He had kept his promise to wait for her when she moves to his country. She said yes and married him. 65 years later, he died before her. 

She looked me in the eyes and said, “You know, I loved him with everything I am. Do you mind if I cry? I am so heart-broken right now.” 

My personal grief story : A heart-break that threw me into the deepest end of darkness I have ever known in my life. Being dumped, especially in a way that I was, has had major repercussions for me.

There was now suffering. A suffering that reflects a loss of meaning, a loss of purpose, a loss of hope and a loss of love.

A suffering that is so profound that it inhibits one’s ability to think clearly and to care for oneself. A suffering which questions why are you even alive without your loved one.

Thus, begins the journey through grief.

Until next time,

Namaste

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.  ~William Shakespeare

The Power of Personal Story-telling

One of the most amazing aspect of being a chaplain is the opportunity to hear people share their stories. It does not cease to amaze me every time someone shares something so personal, so emotional and so moving. There are lessons in these stories – for both the story-teller as well as the listener.

People share stories for a variety of reasons. Some share truly personal experiences where as some choose to share a third-party version of a story. When I say story, I do not mean something fictional. By saying ‘story’, I mean a personal experience that a person can recall and share in as much or as little detail. The details that we as chaplains listen for are expressed through feelings and emotions or even lack thereof.

I have learned over time that every time we share an incident or experience with another, we pick and choose how we phrase things. This can be an indicator of where a person is emotionally in dealing with that particular event.

There are so many powerful stories I have heard are the ones where the story-teller is the person thriving after experiencing a horrific loss or been a victim of an atrociously abusive relationship or experienced racism, religious prejudice, human trafficking and so on. These are major social justice issues – issues that should not have a spot in the 21st Century. Nevertheless, these are the times we live in.

When individuals share their story of surviving and eventually thriving after going through a terrible event/incident in their personal life, they create a brilliant space to inspire others to rise against atrocities, just as they did. All that is truly needed to start a movement is for one person to stand up and say – It cannot go on like this anymore. That moment, that clarity brings with it immense courage. And that courage is what inspires a positive change.

Until next time,

Namaste.

You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars, guides you too. ~Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar