“Communication is the hardest thing we do every day.” My professor says it all the time. Every single time I wonder why is it so? Something that is so essential to us getting by every day is the hardest thing to do. Ironic, isn’t it?
Like I’ve written in my previous posts, I’ve learned to say what I feel. It is not the easiest thing to do. I realized it a long time ago. But then I also turned to introspection as why it was difficult to come out with words when we needed to say it the most. Why is it so easy to express anger in words than love? Why is it easier to push someone away than say that I really want you to stay?
I got my answers. Like always, in time. It is easier to be angry because you do not have to back it up. It is easier to push someone away because you do not want to deal with the implications. It is easier to say I hate you because saying I love you will mean you will need to stay. Unconditionally. I say I love you all the time to people who I know I must tell. I just do. Because I have the strength to back it up.
This past weekend has been a roller-coaster ride. Something as simple as a song on the radio made me break down and cry. A startling thought crossed my mind: I was not loved. It sent shudders through me and I decided to go out for a walk. Alone. I remembered to pick up something so I stepped into a store. I was looking through some things when I saw the person working there wearing a badge that said : Remember to smile. It made me smile and I complimented the associate. In return, the associate gave me a card saying, “Hallmark is giving out a free card for customers and this one is for you.” I opened it. Behold! It said: Always, always, always, always remember you are loved. My smile turned into a grin. I thanked the person and walked home.
And then I found this quote that sums up everything so aptly:
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love. ~ Eckhart Tolle